I notice how a lot of people are densely unhappy about the people surrounding them, maybe too many or too less. I, too had an issue with objectivity when it comes to human beings, not able to distinguish between who actually deserves my attention and well, the others. I admire the options available for the answer to this puzzle but I think the one I chose is rather, selfish and prudent. But it does keep you happy. And if you play your cards right, it won’t affect your immediate social environment much too.
I have met far too many people I would care to at this age and it has been an exhaustive journey because I consider myself a selective extrovert, which if not misinterpreted means that I love being around people but they have to be the right ones. This usually puts me in a dilemma of how many I should actually cherish and how many I should just label, ‘acquaintances’. The answers to this are usually, ‘the people who make you happy’ or ‘the ones that clicked’ but these not just being vague, are generally wrong. I met this guy recently who I found likable in a matter of seconds, we had long funny conversations about things that didn’t really matter. By the conventional ideology, there was a possibility of him being a really good friend. But then the condescension started and frankly, I wondered why I got myself into this. The mountain that lay ahead of me begged me to traverse the idea that I had to choose to dispose or continue. I did have a good time after all but does that weigh heavily against the contempt and condescension?
That’s when it hit me.
I need to only keep people in my life who will or may have the potential to be valuable to me in the future.
The guy works for me and is freakishly talented, so I do know that letting him go will be a major setback to my organisation. So I kept him, talked and listened to drabs of uninteresting conversations because I know that my redemption is waiting as a favor.
I use this now on all the people I meet. How will you help me in the future? This bit of preempting is not only helpful, it aides greatly in taking away the guilt of having to be stuck with an absolutely disgusting and unnecessarily unhappy person. It is selfish I know, but actually it is very similar to the reason you won’t stand behind old people in queues. You stereotype. It is faster. I am going to call this “The contact friendship algorithm.” After all, you are how many contacts you have.