Do yo think organizing anything is easy? No sir!
For the past few days all I’ve been doing is taking up calls, rethinking all my decisions, reviewing every detail and trying to keep those worst case scenarios out of my head. Everything depends on the end result, but what happens behind the curtains is what anybody should actually think about. A little peek and all you will see is chaos and anarchy. But according to me, the saddest part is when the event is over, the void left in your life is a bit unbearable. But after all the work, I just realized that I am a ‘busy junkie’. Maybe it’s a serious condition. But unfortunately, I am too busy to notice.
I hate weddings. I really do. It’s a tiring three day affair with intricacies almost similar to building a super computer. What’s more ironic is, it is supposed to be a celebration. But it just ends up being three days of ancient rituals, gossipy guests and nervous laughter. Our customs require a very vast and completely inapplicable rituals started from the days of dinosaurs. As we evolved over civilizations we simply forgot to change them accordingly for everybody thought it would remind them about an era gone by. But my opinion remains that let bygone be bygone. They are useless, impractical and even this sentiment does not work anymore because a lot of to be married couples have no idea what is going on. One ceremony sets into motion multiple incidents varying over several generations and families. And mind you, they aren’t always frolic. Maybe I’ve just been to all the wrong ones, but from my stand point of view, the evidence suggests wise.
“A single decision can set in motion a flurry of events, unanticipated and inevitable.”
We think holding on makes us strong, but it is letting go
“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by frost
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring
Renewed will be the blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be the king.”
Lord of the rings
“Those to whom evil is done, do evil in return.”
As I lay here sick, the sense of hopelessness is overwhelming. I know I am not dying, that it is just a case of common cold, but it sure feels like it. It feels so uncomfortable and prolonged, you start to forget what normal health feels like. The worst time when you are sick is in the night. Night brings along with it an ominous air, the sense of despair intensifies and you finally understand why in colourful poems night is usually linked with dark, depressed and terrorized feelings.
Yes the best remedy is rest and lots of it, but when that quiet thought at the back of your head, the one which reminds you of a deadline or an incomplete task becomes a full blown nightmare, sleep and peace are thrown out question.
In today’s world, humans aren’t allowed to be sick. The tortuous experience of common cold is considered passable. My cousin who recently joined a software company which started with an 8 month training program provided her with one day sick leave. One day! I mean, gettin sick is the body’s way of telling you to slow down, take a break.But in this century, there is no time for breaks.I worry about those people without iron bound immune systems. They have a risk of losing almost anything from money, deadlines to attendance and careers. As I lay here sick, I can’t decide whether I am better off waking up sick or in better health.
A few years ago, back at school I had started a massive anti cheating protest to curb excessive cheating habits prevalent among school students. It involved everything from multiple articles in our yearbook to countless letters to the management petitioning for stricter rules in these cases. Ofcourse none of it worked and now slowly, as I have ended up on the bad side myself, I have finally realised, it perhaps never will. No one would believe that someone who rallied against cheating would end up practicing it at times of intense panic and desperation. And mind you, it’s very addictive. Actually, the compulsion to cheat can be exactly compared to a narcotic addiction. The fact that it makes everything better and easier, there is no stress, and slowly even the guilt fades away. And I see early stages of this addiction in me.
When I wrote the article, I had emphasised that students start cheating because the matter they were required to provide for the test wasn’t learnt or atleast wasn’t retentive enough. And hence its primary source is seen as laziness.
But what I realised now is that it isn’t laziness but desperation. Atleast for the starters. And it starts with something as simple as that and as the addiction spreads, laziness instead of being a source becomes an effect. Some students can’t get through an exam without cheating. There’s only one solution to this. Don’t start. Accept your hopelessness and admit it as a mistake. Because believe me once you get a taste of it,you can’t let go.
“Don’t start what you know can’t be ended.”